alice dice :: blog

A Greek man, relaxing at his favorite cafe in Krateron (a small Greek village in northern Greece), managed to attract a spectacular blonde woman. He invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk they made love. After a pleasant interlude, and, at what seemed to him to be the appropriate time, he stretched, asked with a smile, “So…you finish?”

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied “No.”

Pleasantly surprised, the Greek man reached for her and had his way with her again. This time she’s wild, thrashing about on the bed and climaxing with screams of passion. Again, the Greek man smiles, and asks, “You finish?”

And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and says “No.”

Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for his date. It takes all of his strength and he barely manages to do it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping bed sheets. It’s dawn by then, and, entirely spent, the exhausted Greek man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks, “You finish!?”

“Dammit, no!” she shouts back. “For the last time, I am Swedish!”

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A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, “I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me feel happy and sad at the same time.”

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, “Your penis is bigger than your brother’s.”

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An 87-year-old woman came home from bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.

She pushed him off a balcony on the 20th floor of a seniors’ apartment tower, killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on a murder charge, the judge asked if the woman had anything to say in her defence.

“Yes, your honour. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex, he could also fly.”

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HARRY POTTER BOOK TITLE ALTERNATIVES

Harry Potter and the Uneventful Year When No One Tried to Kill Him

Harry Potter and the Uncomfortable Oversexed Minors

Harry Potter and the Burning Sensation

Harry Potter and the Camping Weekend With Ron That Will Never Be Spoken Of Again

Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Detainees of Azerbaijan

Harry Potter and the HufflePuff Orgy

Harry Potter and the Weapons of Magic Destruction

Harry Potter and the Order of the Pizza

Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s get Stoned

Harry Potter reads Geopolitical Realities of the Post-Nuclear Age

Harry Potter and the Gauntlet of Snot